Sunday, December 06, 2009

Make It A '67 GTO

At Townhall, Doug Giles has put together a hilarious, and true, take on the recent email revelations trashing the AGW movement. He put together a list of what he intends to do in celebration of the death of global warming:

1. I am going to go outside by my pool and spray two full 32oz cans of Aqua Net right at the ozone.
2. I am going to use a gas powered scooter to go from room to room in my house, which will have all the outside doors open wide while the A/C is blowing full blast.
3. I am going to buy a ‘69 GTO with no exhaust system and let it idle for 4 hours a day in my driveway every day until Jesus returns.
4. I am going to fart as much as possible.
5. Speaking of farting, I am going to feed my cows bean dip and only bean dip.
6. I am going to set my thermostat on 85 in the winter and 55 in the summer.
7. I am going to use all my curly cue fluorescent light bulbs for clay pigeons—and not clean up the mess.
8. I am going to air up my tires on my ‘69 Goat so much that it looks like a frickin’ Macy’s Parade float.
9. When I go grizzly bear hunting in Alaska this spring I am going to add a polar bear to my license and take one of those as well.
10. While in Alaska I will take a blowtorch to a glacier to get my drinking water.
11. In addition, I am going to throw snowballs at seals. It won’t hurt them, but they will understand that the game is back on.
12. And finally, I am going to make certain my girls have Horner’s book Red Hot Lies and Milloy’s book Green Hell so that when their profs and goofy friends open their mouths on behalf global warming they can go Stone Cold Steve Austin on them with the cold, hard facts.

I would make a single change. Make that a 1967 GTO as the '68 models had the new federally mandated PCV (Positive Crankcase Ventilation) valves installed on the valve covers. Prior to that, crankcases ventilated directly into the engine compartment.


Cookie..... said...

Regarding the GW e-mails just exposed, when I mentioned this turn of events to my staunch left wing neighbors, they immediately dismissed these science community correspondence as propaganda generated by anti Global Warming folks in a fictitious attempt to discredit that fine and wonderful man, Al Gore.

One set of neighbors are retired older folks, he and she believe very strongly in Socialism and he thinks the United Nations is the GREATEST organization ever put together by man, so much so that he had a flagpole installed in his yard with a huge UN flag.

The other set of folks are a school guidance councilor/psychiatrist, and he's a retired Probation Officer. All of them think the "Goricle" is the salt of the Earth. "Sig", I'm surrounded by blind, left wing lunacy....HELLLLLP

The point being where these folks are concerned is, "don't confuse me with facts", and, no matter what the truth really is, unless it fits into my preconceived ideas and beliefs, its right wing propaganda.

sig94 said...

It's all the brainwashing that's been going on for decades Cookie. You 'n I have have our eyes opened by our experiences; others have had theirs closed and wired shut. They make the same accusations against us, yet when we want to see "the proof" they get all shitty and then refuse to examine anything other than the talking points their masters have supplied.

And they want us to be slaves just like them.

SoCalOilMan said...

How about shower until the tank run cold...Oh wait, I have a tankless water heater so it's until my beer is empty and/or I run the aquifer dry.