Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Idle Talk

Thanks to my brother Bob, I now have a new favorite hat.
And only worn once by a previous owner...

I think Putin needs a photo op to help his miserable public relations image here in America.
I propose a low-level fly by in our nation's Capital by a brace of MIG-29's and a Tu-142.

I'm sure our President, Congress-creatures and federal bureaucrats will absolutely love to see these aircraft do a tight pylon turn around the Washington Monument at 600 feet during the lunch hour. No problem here! The Washington Monument is only 555 feet tall.

Trivia: The Washington Monument was the world's tallest structure when completed in 1885 and remained so until the completion of the Eiffel Tower in 1889.

Swine flu. Scientists are hypothesizing how this Mexican flu virus variant dveloped. One theory is that a pig already infected with swine flu ate avian flu-infected bird droppings. Bird droppings are considered a delicacy by swine suffering from a high swine flu-induced fever.

Once inside the pig, the two flu viruses were overcome with viral lust. They ignored the warnings of their families and fell in love with each other. Insane with passion, unholy exchanges of viral RNA occurred within the dark entrails of the pig. They did have to grope for awhile.

The offspring from this union hyphenated their last names (Mexicans, remember?) and were called swine-avian flu variants.

Now, things now get really murky.

Either a chicken ate swine-avian flu infected feces (they're in Mexico, remember? Even pig shit tastes better than week old enchiladas) and then the chicken was eaten by a Mexican who already had a case of the flu...

Or the swine-avian flu infected pig ate a Mexican who was infected with human flu. Once again groping viruses (viri?) seek each other out in dark secret corners of the pig.

The human-swine-avian flu infected pig sneezes or craps or donates blood or is turned into short ribs and then all hell breaks loose when some sneeze breathing, crap eating, blood donor receiving guy eating BBQ ... awwww you know the rest.

Just seal the borders.

No comments: