Friday, October 02, 2009

Top 10 Reasons To Believe Dave Letterman Wants To Have Sex With You

#10. Richard Simmons shows up at your home and hands you a business thong to wear to your job interview with Dave Letterman.
#9. During his monologue, Dave Letterman cornholes Paul Shaffer while screaming your name, phone number and address.
#8. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman throws his pants instead of a pencil through the fake window.
#7. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman introduces you to President Clinton as "My New Zipper Blotter".
#6. Dave Letterman sends his mother to your house with a fresh-baked apple pie and a picture of his wife.
#5. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you on top of third base during a Yankees game .
#4. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you during a Yankees game on top of Alex Rodriguez.
#3. The name of the company at the top of your pay check changes from "World Wide Pants, Inc." to "Guess What I Have In My Pants For You, Inc."
#2. In his "CBS Mail Bag" spot, Dave Letterman opens your mail and reads his letter threatening to fire you if you don't have sex with him.
#1. In his "Stupid Pet/Human Tricks" spot, Dave Letterman wears a leash and dry humps your leg.


Let's be clear, I do not use Dave Letterman or any other person (celebrity or otherwise) as my moral compass. I have more than enough to do dealing with my own shortfallings and moral lapses. But Letterman makes a living out of exposing and mocking other people's failures in judgement (except liberal democrats of course) and after viewing his late night confession, he doesn't consider having sex with his employees a big deal.
He calls having sex with his employees "creepy" but I don't believe he is all that ashamed by his exploitive acts.

Judge for yourself.
(The footage is no longer available. CBS has yanked Letterman's video for copyright reasons)

He has crossed another line here. Just like his salacious and nasty remarks about Sarah Pallin and her 14 year old daughter, sleeping with people who are dependant upon you for their livelihood and then making jokes about it is beyond the pale.

What is creepy about this video is the jaded, coarse reaction of his audience. What he is talking about is not funny. There is something wrong with him and his audience. When we wonder what is wrong with America, look no further than Dave Letterman and his audience.

2 comments:

SoCalOilMan said...

I believe a lot of the audience response was because his lead-in to his confession wasn't really clear. They didn't know if he was just telling a story or not. I think that was nervous/uncomfortable laughter.

And if you've every been to a taping of a TV show, they have "APPLAUSE" signs that flash to tell the audience to react.

I imagine when he finished and they went to commercial most people were going WTF was that?

sig94 said...

Gee I dunno. I got the impression that the laughter at the end was the same as at the beginning. They did sound a little uncertain in the middle of his "confession" but after that....