Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Ice Man Cometh

In a statement issued from his new estate in southern France, Chateau d'Gorcicle, climate genius Al Gore has issued new directives in his battle to combat mankind's greatest enemy - Global Warming.

These directives propose a revolutionary change to the way that the world will manufacture leisure products by taking advantage of global warming trends; that will not increase mankind's carbon footprint...
" Whew! Honey! More iced tea please! I'm roasting in here!"

That's what you'll be saying to your spouse as she lovingly hands you another cold, frosty glass of your favorite beverage as you loll in your new Gore Technologies™ carbon neutral jacuzzi! Global rising temperatures will bake your cares away without wasting a single kilowatt!
Nothing beats the heat as you unwind from a hard day at work!
And who knows? Maybe the little lady will join you for a relaxing dip once the kids are in bed! Oh you naughty guys! But don't worry, we won't be able to see a thing and you won't want to escape from your jacuzzi after just a few minutes!

Imagine this: you are out on your patio, basking in the sun on your brand new lawn furniture. Your neighbor will be "green" with envy as you enjoy a refreshing beverage on your eco-friendly chaise lounge fashioned by Mother Gaia herself! You'll love your Gore Technologies™ lawn furniture so much, you'll find it almost impossible to pry yourself loose!
Hard bank shot got you worried? Game on the line? No Sweat! You'll be cool as a c-c-c-cucumber showing off your stuff on this Global Warming inspired creation from Gore Technologies™! The carbon neutral pool table! Rack 'em up!


Toaster 802 said...

I call first game!

Subvet said...

Yep, hot stuff.

Fredd said...

Let's face it: Al is an idiot.

sig94 said...

And now every plague, every mishap of mankind is due to Global Warming.

Crotch itch driving you crazy? Global Warming.

Your linguini overcooked? Global Warming.

Dandruff? Global Warming.

Kitchen needs remodeling? Global Warming.

Can't get laid? Global Warming.