Headlines Across The Pond

Here are today's top stories from the UK Telegraph:

Bluetongue here to stay, warns Defra:
A powerful lobbying campaign by Tidy Bowl has changed the face of England. But only when they open their mouths.

Whisky sells for record £29,400:
Why not to attend an auction after drinking the cheap stuff...

Stem cell trials raise hopes of MS cure:
Those filthy, rotten stem cells are finally brought to justice. If they had any brains they'd have copped a plea. Now it looks like they'll have to do time and make restitution.

Belgian di-sabled get prostitutes:
Is this part of the "rise" in social service spending? If you still require the services of a whore then mebbe you ain't so disabled. This could be a government plan to identify those who are scamming the system, AKA Booty Gate.

Moors murderer bids to end his life:
He bids a noose, the State raises him the chair.
We'll see the noose, the chair and raise a firing squad, an axe and a rusty schrub trimmer.

Australia has more wild pigs than people:
It's all those rugby players.