Thursday, June 18, 2009


I finished two major projects in the past two days. Over the last 22 years I have spent way too many hours peering into an LCD monitor composing official documents' creating databases and spreadsheets. My neck is killing me. I left work early to see my chiropractor who informs me that the next step is deep tissue message then to inject cortisone into my vertebrae or possible surgery. When I turn my head it sounds like someone is crunching a bag of potato chips. Several times a day something catches and it feels like someone rammed a knife into my neck.

So I'm in a piss poor mood to begin with. Now I hear that North Korea may launch one of their Taepodong-2 rockets at Hawai on the 4th of July. Someone has to step on that poofy-haired cockroach running that pisspot country and setttle his hash once and for all.

I read that Iran maybe coming apart at the seams after that murderous terrorist running the show over there falsified voting results - many Iranian polling stations are reporting ballot returns that are 120% to 140 % higher than the number of registered voters. in their districts. About 100,000 Iranians protested today in Tehran. Every single one of them should march over to the palace or ministry hall, or wherever asshole Ahmadinejad hangs his hat, and step on that cockroach.

It is now after dinner and I am watching Fox News; they're showing video of stinking Palestinian terrorists using horses in the Gaza Strip to attack Iraelis. They strap explosives to the poor beasts and away they go. Those cockroaches need to leave those beautiful animals alone so they can run up and down the Mediterrean beaches and frolic in the surf. Then the Israelis need to step on those stinking cockroaches and settle their shit once and for all.

And because I just ate dinner, this next item kinda turns my stomache. Fox News also had this little item buried away, hidden under some story about a US Senator screwing some other guy's wife. Whatta surprise. But this story is also about sperm, freaking giant grab you by the throat and shake your ass sperm.

Called Harbinia micropapillosa, the tiny organism now found to bear evidence of degraded sperm was also an ostracod, crustaceans ranging in size from smaller than a poppy seed to as large as a meatball. The organisms are still around on Earth today and are equipped with up to eight pairs of appendages along their bivalve bodies.

They are known for their supersized sperm relative to their body size, reaching a record-breaking 10 body lengths, or 0.2 inches in Propontocypris monstrosa. The males are likewise well-endowed, having correspondingly large copulatory organs to cope with their sperm, said lead researcher Renate Matzke-Karasz of Ludwig Maximilians University in Munich, Germany. (When sperm length reaches that of the organism's body, it can arguably be called "giant," Matzke-Karasz said.)

Okay, maybe not that big but if the average American male had a set of cojones big enough to produce a proportionate sperm, he'd need a flatbed trailor anda payloader in the bedroom to deliver, well - the whole package. This is just plan gross and scary and I'm glad that someone already stepped on these cockroaches. Nothing worse than little tiny cockroaches running around with giant peckers.

If anything else pisses me off I'll let you know.

UPDATE - Okay, something in the paper made me feel better. Some guy, John More, just celebrated his 105th birthday. He is from Monopoli, Bari, Italy. That's where my wife's grandparents lived before emigrating to the US in the 1920's. Now I feel more confident that she'll be around to wait on me hand and foot until I decide to kick off. Life is good.

1 comment:

USA_Admiral said...

All the stuff that happens in the so called news makes it tough for me to get motivated to read the news. More so since that wimp entered the white house.