Saturday, May 23, 2009

Get On With It Asshole

There you are, minding your own business, standing on a bridge railing on the Haizhu Bridge in Guangzhou in southeast China (about 75 miles NW of Hong Kong), overlooking a precipice.

You are contemplating whether or not to take that final step into Eternity. Thoughts of lost loved ones, past failures, future disappointments and present woes flood your thought processes. What are you thinking.

Is there an Afterlife?
Will I see my loved ones again?
Is suicide a sin?
Is there General Tso's Chicken the way I like it on the Other Side?
Is there sex after Death?
Do I really want to have sex with a dead person?

You stand there for five hours contemplating these thoughts until some guy sitting in stalled traffic for those five soul-searching hours has finally had enough of your self-absorbed bull shit and tosses your ass off the bridge.
From the UK Telegraph:

Lian Jiansheng, 66, a retired soldier, broke through a police cordon and reached out to shake the hand of the would-be jumper, Chen Fuchao, before pushing him off the bridge.

"I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests," Mr Lai was quoted as saying by the China Daily newspaper.

He added: "They do not really dare to kill themselves. Instead, they just want to raise the relevant government authorities' attention to their appeals."

Chen fell only 10 yards on to a partially inflated emergency air cushion and was treated in hospital with wrist and back injuries. Mr Lian was detained by police.

Chen, who said he had debts of two million yuan (£200,000) because of his involvement in a failed building project, was at least the twelfth person since early April to threaten suicide at the same spot, the Haizhu bridge in Guangzhou.

But none have jumped and - until Mr Lian gave Chen a helping hand - none have been pushed.

Good bye asshole.

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