LONDON -- The London man who dodged 19 police bullets as he fled a robbery spree denies taking a shooting stance, insists he told the pursuing officer he was unarmed and says he was clearly visible under a street lamp.
Holy Ricochets Batman! If this fleeing felon was a Matrix agent I could perhaps understand why nineteen 9mm Happy Loads were distributed haphazardly through the streets of London at 1000 fps without hitting the intended target.
Two words - Fire Discipline. If ya can't hit the damn thing, put your pistol back in your pocket, catch your breath and have a nice cuppa while the Range Officer who trained you is subjected to ritual disembowelment.
"He (the police officer) was trying to kill me," Paul Wayne O'Connell insisted yesterday in an interview with The Free Press from the Elgin-Middlesex Detention Centre.
I think the officer was actually imitating the High Speed Copper and Lead Fairy, just doing his part to give good little English children their daily minimum requirement of screaming fits and shattered glass. He was followed in close proximity by the Shit Your Pants Pixie.
"But I don't want his badge or compensation. I just want to get the help I need. Drugs have wrecked my whole life. All I wanted was to get better." O'Connell said he was "hoping to get caught" last Wednesday during a five-hour robbery spree so he could get out of the drug culture and into treatment.
But he was trying to help dearie! In a hellish version of Obongo's economic stimulus package, the officer in question was also providing economic relief to London's unemployed carpenters, plasterers and glaziers and an opportunity to train emergency care doctors and nurses.
I wish Mr. O'Connell luck in his quest for sobriety. That he has survived thus far is perhaps an indication that God indeed has decided to intercede on his behalf. So I will pray to the Father of All Mercies that He will deliver Mr. O'Connell from his addictions and that the London Metropolitan Police Department will never give that officer a shotgun or hand grenades.
I wish Mr. O'Connell luck in his quest for sobriety. That he has survived thus far is perhaps an indication that God indeed has decided to intercede on his behalf. So I will pray to the Father of All Mercies that He will deliver Mr. O'Connell from his addictions and that the London Metropolitan Police Department will never give that officer a shotgun or hand grenades.
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