I'm A Little Teapot

I'm a little teapot short and stout,
I'll pour you a Cup O'Death out of my spout.

When I get all steamed up then I cry,
Just take a sip and kiss your ass goodbye.

ABC News reports that the Brit cops have finally found the receptacle that delivered ex-Russian KGB agent Alexander Litvinenko his minimum daily requirement of Polonium 210.

British officials say police have cracked the murder-by-poison case of former spy Alexander Litvinenko, including the discovery of a "hot" teapot at London's Millennium Hotel with an off-the-charts reading for Polonium-210, the radioactive material used in the killing.

I really can't think of an excuse for why it took so long for them to find it. Just turn off the lights and see what glows, no?

A senior official tells ABC News the "hot" teapot remained in use at the hotel for several weeks after Litvinenko's death before being tested in the second week of December. The official said investigators were embarrassed at the oversight.

Whoever was in charge of the crime scene should have his ass booted up over his ears.

British health officials say some 128 people were discovered to have had "probable contact" with Polonium-210, including at least eight hotel staff members and one guest.

No definitive word yet on where these people may have come in contact with the radioactive teabags. Now we have to add another variation of tea: white, green, oolong, black and nuclear.

There obviously has been some intensive work done after the initial bungling. Brit investigators traveled to Russia for interviews and a prime suspect has been identified.

The official says investigators have concluded, based on forensic evidence and intelligence reports, that the murder was a "state-sponsored" assassination orchestrated by Russian security services.

Officials say Russian FSB intelligence considered the murder to have been badly bungled because it took more than one attempt to administer the poison. The Russian officials did not expect the source of the poisoning to be discovered, according to intelligence reports.

Most murders don't. If this was done by old school KGB'ers, perhaps they just didn't care whether or not they were found out. Nothing would ever came of it anyway. Perhaps they are wrong, we'll see.

Sources say police intend to seek charges against a former Russian spy, Andrei Lugovoi, who met with Litvinenko on Nov. 1, the day officials believe the lethal dose was administered in the Millennium Hotel teapot.

Lugovoi steadfastly denied any involvement in the murder at a Moscow news conference and at a session with Scotland Yard detectives. Russian security police were present when the British questioned Lugovoi, and British officials do not think they received honest answers from him.

The Brits may issue a warrant for him, but it is doubtful that it will be served. Lugovoi was in Moscow hospital when the brit cops came looking for him. From a Dec. 6, 2006, ABC News article:

British detectives investigating the poisoning death of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko have identified a prime suspect — a man who also once was a Russian spy, a British official tells ABC News.

British detectives had just arrived in Moscow when they were told they could not see the man they consider their prime suspect, former KGB agent Andrei Lugovoi. He was unavailable, hospitalized with signs of radiation poisoning, Russian officials said.

Russia's top prosecutor said the British could not speak with any witnesses on their own and could not extradite them to Britain if they're charged. Senior British official told ABC News the Russian government is obstructing the investigation, even as more and more signs point to Russia and Lugovoi.

ABC News has reconstructed Lugovoi's movements from Moscow to London, right up to the day he met Litvinenko at a London hotel, and found a trail of deadly polonium 210.

If this gets embarassing enough for the Russians, perhaps Andre will have himself a little accident. I'd be real careful of what I drank. Someone may drop a teapot on him.