Mars - The "Guy" Planet

Scientists have now determined that Mars is emitting gases, methane gas to be precise.

NASA announced Thursday that its researchers and university scientists found methane in the Red Planet's atmosphere. The finding suggests biological or geological activity.

NASA's Infrared Telescope Facility and the W.M. Keck telescope showed prisms that separate white light into a rainbow and showed three lines that indicate the presence of methane.

"Methane is quickly destroyed in the Martian atmosphere in a variety of ways, so our discovery of substantial plumes of methane in the northern hemisphere of Mars in 2003 indicates some ongoing process is releasing the gas," Michael Mumma of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md., said in a statement.

Mumma, who authored a paper on the finding for Science Express, said that Mars releases methane "at a rate comparable to that of the massive hydrocarbon seep at Coal Oil Point in Santa Barbara, Calif." during its northern midsummer."

So Mars is indeed a manly hunk of rock - nay - a "guy" planet, the Homer Simpson of the Solar System, eating chile and drinking beer with his feet propped up on the Asteroid Belt breaking Solar Wind out of a butthole the size of Chicago, ogling the two nudie moons that prance around him and catching zzz's whenever the mood strikes.

If NASA ever catches sight of huge flames erupting, we'll know Mars got bored and is lighting farts to amuse the kids. I know my own got the surprise of their lives when I did it. They thought I exploded.

As the next closest neighbor to Mars (about 340 million miles) Jupiter prolly catches a lot of this activity and that's why there is an angry Red Spot the size of Earth on ole Jupe. We're much, much closer to Mars (36 to 250 million miles depending on where we are positioned on our orbits) but Mars doesn't seem to bother with us much.

Now that is one pissed-off looking spot. Jupe built the Asteroid Belt as a fence to keep Mars out of his backyard.

Colorless, invisible gas is one of the signs whereby God lets us know that He is not only merciful but that He also has a sense of humor.

Can you imagine the grief if everytime someone farted, a nasty green or brown cloud drifted out from their butt? Life would be intolerable. Especially in elevators.