Monday, January 25, 2010

Test Your Aptitude To Be A Border Patrol Agent

Illegal aliens are natural chameleons, they have learned to blend in with the crowd. They do not draw attention to themselves. It takes years of training for a Border Patrol Agent to learn how to identify and apprehend these living shadows hiding out in the open.

It requires patience, discernment and development of your situational awareness skills.

Do you have what it takes?

Watch this video. Perhaps there is a career in the US Border Patrol waiting for you!



A big H/T to Charlie the ChiTown Cop.

I just know that Charlie would have picked this person out in a heart beat.
He has a nose for this kind of stuff.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

A dog cuts a pretty clean turd, mostly leaving himself a clean asshole, that is just a casual observation having owned dogs all
my life.

That asshole that shat in the planter is lower than a dog. Unfortunately, that is not the first time I observed that. Mostly when I had an illegal in the back of my truck and I would stop so he could shit, as there were no restrooms out in the desert.

If I had to guess though, being a retired BP agent, I would guess that pig to be a Native American.
And that applies to him only, not the entire Native American communities.

Nickie Goomba said...

This is a trick question. That's Ward Churchill.

B orderBob said...

Hey, I know that Nickie, I'm bored and was trying to have a little fun.
Watching that video took me back to when I used to work our night vision scope trucks along the Mexican border. I used to blend in and park in a huge parking lot filled with migrant field workers vehicles and watch for illegals coming north.
When it was slow, I'd swing the camera around and watch the field workers drive off at night when they were finished working.
And every now and then, one of them would do just like the guy in the video, drop trou, take a dump, not wipe and drive off. I used to laugh, wondering if the builders of the flir camera ever thought agents would watch as a white hot turd came out of somebody and continued to glow on the ground long after the responsible party was long gone.
Memories that were long lost until I got my memory refreshed tonight :)

Snarky Basterd said...

That's just wrong.

sig94 said...

Anon and BorderBob ... many, many thanks for your selfless service and thanks for helping me with my diet as I just lost any appetite I may have had for the next month.

sig94 said...

Nickie - this is a new illegal immigrant labor program where they fertilize potted plants. I sent a rep to your house and he left a sample in your begonias.

sig94 said...

Snarky - from your lips to DHS ear.

B orderBob said...

sorry about that sig94! but not a bad idea of fertilizing our potted plants, you may be on to something there. Could you imagine 12 million of them doing that? just don't try and visualize that, you'll never eat again!

sig94 said...

Too late. Already got a brain photo. Kiss that lasagna goodbye...

B orderBob said...

sig94, thank you for your service brother. I worked with lots of cops backing them up on stops. We usually both would agree we liked our jobs better than the others.
Cops would see us at the end of our shift, dirty boots, twigs in our hair from belly crawling through brush and they were still spit shined.(when I was in Yuma, AZ) Thats the last thing they said they would want to do everynight. Then I would hear them responding to a disturbance with a bunch of drunks or domestic abuse and the last thing I would want to do is have to listen to couples fighting, drunks, etc.
So I have lots of respect for cops and what they go through.
I'll take my illegals anytime over that! :) I'm sure you have some great "war stories" and it would be great to hear some of them someday. Anyway, I had to get off that subject we were talking about.
Nice site you have here.

sig94 said...

BorderBob - I hear ya bro. You always think what you're doing is safer or better or slicker than some other guy's occupation.

Now take firemen. Firemen are crazy. There's no arguing with fire. Fire just don't care.
There are no interpretors that speak fire.

You can't threaten a fire or make a deal with fire.
You can't bring in fire relatives, say - matches - to talk a fire down.
I have been in a few fires and dragged people out; I'd rather run into a raging gun fight, thank you.

And thanks for stopping by bro.

B orderBob said...

You're absolutley right there sig94. Fire fighters have big ol huevo's for sure. Some people may or may not like when you or myself showed up on a scene, but everybody loves the firemen/woman.

I noticed you're in upstate NY. I was raised in Utica. I've got family in every corner of the state. I usually come back for a visit at the end of Sept, nothing like autumn anywhere else in the country.

Since retirement, I started my own BBQ catering business. Been doing it on the side for yrs and learned the trade back in TX. Last summer I got to cater to Ricky Skaggs and his band, that was pretty cool.

I see you're doing consulting, its good to keep busy after retiring.
We have mandatory retirement at 56 yrs old, I got out at 54.

who knows, maybe we can meet for coffee one of these days when I get back east, take care my friend

sig94 said...

Excellent. Utica is only an hour away. I am originally from Long Island, moved up here to go to college, never moved back. Went to school with a bunch of guys who are now on the west coast.

B orderBob said...

My cousin John Delemo died 10/07. John was 85, he was a NYC transit cop and was a volunteer fireman as long as I knew him, back in Massapequa, LI. He had worked himself up all the way to Commissioner. At his retirement party, Ed Koch was there and said a few words for John.

Hmmn, an hr for Utica, that might put you around Syracuse area if you're west. to the north would put ya around Booneville.


If you ever go west to visit your friends, I'd be glad to take ya fishing in my boat and we just started river rafting last summer too. I see you like to hunt, we have 5 elk herds in my county and I get moose in yd every winter. Well Sig94, maybe we will have coffee one of these days.

sig94 said...

Sounds like a plan Bob. My Dad loved the SW and wanted to move to Tucson. Unfortunately his health went south and he stayed north until his death.

B orderBob said...

aw man Sig, sorry to hear about your dad, that had to be hard on ya.
Thats why I keep going back to NY, my dad is 86, in a nursing home, he can't walk.

I love Tucson, I have cousins there, a brother in Prescott, and lots of BP brothers in Yuma.

Next winter, we're going to pull my smoker to Yuma and sell BBQ all winter and beat the cold. If for any reason it doesn't work out, we're going to move to the hill country outside of Austin, TX.

Offer is there to take you fishing and show you around, take care Sig94

powdergirl said...

I just feel so sorry for that poor potted plant...

sig94 said...

Powder - the plant survived (nitrogen is nitrogen), the illegal's blue jeans didn't.