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Mark McGwire admits to using steroids. I am shocked, shocked!

Mark McGwire finally came clean, admitting he used steroids when he broke baseball's home run record in 1998. McGwire said in a statement sent to The Associated Press on Monday that he used steroids on and off for nearly a decade.

"It's very emotional, it's telling family members, friends and coaches, you know, it's former teammates to try to get ahold of, you know, that I'm coming clean and being honest," he said during a 20-minute telephone interview, his voice repeatedly cracking. "It's the first time they've ever heard me, you know, talk about this. I hid it from everybody."

McGwire said he also used human growth hormone, and he didn't know if his use of performance-enhancing drugs contributed to some of the injuries that led to his
retirement, at age 38, in 2001.

McGwire has also admitted to using female hormone therapy, tooth whitening gel, leaded gasoline, whole milk and having sex with underage unicorns.

Under new ethics rules, Congresses punishes -- no one. "Purer than Caesar's wife" is an expression that will never apply to the US Congress. "Purer than the Roto Router™ enema bit that was just yanked out of Harry Reid's asshole," may also be a stretch.

Nearly three years after Congress approved sweeping ethics rules to "drain the swamp," as incoming House Speaker Nancy Pelosi put it, no member of Congress as been punished for wrongdoing.

In that time, allegations of sexual misconduct and financial impropriety have been lodged against lawmakers. The most serious rebuke in the past year: a "letter of qualified admonition" to Sen. Roland Burris, D-Ill., after the Senate ethics panel concluded he misled lawmakers and inappropriately offered to raise campaign funds for then-governor Rod Blagojevich as Burris sought the Senate appointment. "Three years later, it's the same old, same old," said Melanie Sloan of Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington.

And you're surprised because?

Guilty plea in shooting death of limo driver. It took eight years, eight farking years, for this over paid thug to finally 'fess up to killing some poor schmuck.

Former NBA star Jayson Williams, his personal life in shambles, took responsibility for accidentally shooting his limousine driver to death eight years ago by pleading guilty Monday to assault and agreeing to serve at least 18 months in prison.

Williams was awaiting retrial on a reckless manslaughter count but pleaded guilty to the lesser aggravated assault count for the 2002 death of Costas Christofi.
Williams remained poised during the hearing and mostly answered yes and no questions, though he did tell the judge that he had not fully checked a shotgun he was showing off to friends before snapping it closed.

"I didn't look in the direction the muzzle of the gun was pointed," he said, before admitting that his handling of the gun was reckless and that the gunshot caused Christofi's death.

Eighteen months in prison for wasting the prom cab driver. The family of Costas Christofi settled for $2.75 million in 2003. Williams had been previously charged in 1992 for assault and in 1996 for discharging a firearm in the Meadowland's sports complex. This idiot just doesn't learn.