Thursday, August 26, 2010

Driving While ???

There are just too many distractions for today's drivers. I see young people driving 70 mph staring at their laps because they are texting; I see women applying make up; I even saw a guy shaving. And now this:

A Cincinnati woman was simultaneously masturbating with a sex toy and watching a pornographic video while driving last week, according to cops who arrested her on assorted criminal charges.

Colondra Hamilton, 36, was pulled over last Tuesday evening in a traffic stop triggered when cops noticed she was driving a 2008 Pontiac with overly tinted windows.

That’s when officers noticed that Hamilton’s pants were unbuttoned. And she had a vibrator in her lap. Questioned by cops, Hamilton admitted to engaging in auto erotic manipulation, and revealed that she had also been watching a porno movie that was playing on the laptop of a friend in the passenger seat, according to an Elmwood Place Police Department report.

As a retired cop, I remember that short walk to the driver's door after you pull over a car. You're preparing yourself emotionally and physically for whatever happens. Depending on the situation, as I approached the driver I would sometimes unsnap my holster or even pull my revolver and get ready for whatever. But then again, I never heard a loud buzzing and moaning as I neared the driver's door.

I have no idea how prevalent the use of sex implements is. What are the options? Battery or plug-in or wind up? Plastic or latex? But using them while operating a motor vehicle is certainly not recommended.

Hamilton [...] was booked into the Hamilton County jail on a misdemeanor count of driving with “impaired alertness.” Hamilton was also charged with possession of drug paraphernalia since cops found a “broken piece of crack pipe” in her purse.

I wonder what DVD was being played during this sordid episode? Gives a whole new meaning to the movie, "Driving Miss Daisy." We're following this one at work just to see where it goes; any explanation given by the driver should be very illuminating.


The_Kid said...

;-). I guess that explains the obvious dysfunctional driving ever present on Cincinnati Freeways.

I swear many women drive down the road thinking, "Damnit I can't be bothered staring at the road, I got more important things to do !"

sig94 said...

Either that or it's an opportunity for the manufacturers of after market automotive devices to hit one out of the park.

The_Kid said...

I see it as good and bad, but we sure pay a lot of extra money for idiot devices on vehicles the last 10 or more years. Airbags all over the place, ABS, cars are out now that automatically brake if they're bearing down on a stopped vehicle (while you are right at the climax of the movie on the passenger seat:)..

I think they add a few thousand to the price of a car.

I'm just old school, learned how to drive without ABS, or any of the other idiot devices.

I'd be happy if an air bag saved my or a passengers life in my car, but to some extent the 'safer' you make cars, the less serious drivers tend to take the responsibility of driving imo, tho you're the expert in this area.

sig94 said...

Kid - I think it is the general lack of accountibility aided by no fault insurance, and driver distractions. There are fewer deaths on the road due to enhanced DWI enforcement but it seems that rudeness and road rage have taken over.

SoCalOilMan said...

You make a point about women, but they ain't the only ones"

11% of Men Masturbate While Driving

sig94 said...

That reminds me of when I was a brand new sgt. I worked as the desk sgt. on the 3rd Platoon and was on my way home. I pulled behind a car that was parked on the shoulder of Rt 690 to see if they required assistance. It was about 2330 hrs. and the driver refused to answer me or roll down the window. I became suspicious and ordered them to comply. When the window came down there was a female driver with two men next to her in the front seat of a small compact car. One guy was nekked from the waist down. I thought "What The Hell??" and then the police helicopter came roaring in right over my head and light us up like "Close Emcounters of the Third Kind." Then I saw a freakin' wave of police and fire equipment come roaring over the rise in the road like a screaming herd. Next thing I was up to my ass in cops and firemen and the people in the car were yanked out and bounced all over the road. As I was off duty and still on probation as a new sgt. I did NOT want to get involved. I got the hell out of there and went home. I never even checked the next day to see what what happened. I didn't want to know.