Heaviest Element Yet Known to Science DiscoveredThe Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in California has now identified with certainty the heaviest element known to science.The new element, Pelosium (PL), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Pelosium is inert, and has no charge and no magnetism. Nevertheless, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Pelosium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Pelosium has a normal half-life of 2 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a biennial reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.Pelosium mass will increase over time, since each reorganization will promote many morons to become isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium becomes Senatorium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Pelosium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. -- P. J. O'Rourke
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Advances In Science - The Pelosi Particle
A big H/T to Charlie The ChiTown Cop.
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7 comments:
I'm just curious as to what happens when a Pelosium core atomic bomb is detonated during the nuclear option: how far would the fall out reach?
ROTFL - Great one!
Linked at MNR
http://mindnumbedrobot.blogspot.com/2010/03/scientists-discover-new-element-pelosi.html
and at
The Resistance
http://the-resistance.posterous.com/scientists-discover-new-element-the-pelosi-pa
Fredd - the fall out will reach everyone in the US. I think the half life effects will last at least through the next election cycle. Hopefully the fall out is most dangerous to democrats.
LHC - I saw this and knew it was a keeper. Thanks.
Yep. Hope you got some hits out of it. Good find. I laughed so hard this morning I almost spilled my coffee.
Best explanation I have heard yet.
Admiral - it worked for me too.
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