Cop Jokes

Got these in an email. Not bad.

My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a youngpolice officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery "Good morning!" "And a good morning to you, Wing Commander," replied the officer. "Having trouble taking off?"

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A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do ifyou had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

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John Screwbrake got pulled over for speeding. He showed the cop his driver'slicense, told him his name and said his wife was having a baby at the local hospital and he needed to get to there fast. The cop didn't believe him, but decided to check out his story before he gave him a ticket. The cop went down to the hospital and rushed on inside. The first person he met was a nurse in the hallway. So he asked "Do you have a Screwbrake here?" She said "Hell no! We're so busy, we don't even have time for a coffee break."

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While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me,"would you please tie my shoe?"

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My brother was a Police Officer for some thirty years. One of my favorite stories of his was when his Grandson saw an early picture of him in uniform he stated, "Barney Fife!"

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One Officer,while writing a speeding ticket, was being berated by the driver: "Why did you stop me and all these other people are speeding? Why didn't you stop them?"
The Officer replied, "Ever been fishing?"
Response, "Yes"
Officer, "Ever catch ALL the fish?'