Friday, February 12, 2010

Amazing Medical Inventions

Former President William Clinton was hospitalized this afternoon; he was admitted to Columbia's New York Presbyterian Hospital after complaining of chest pains.

Taking into account his legendary poor eating habits, doctors realized that ordinary measures would probably be defeated in the long term. Instead, they opted for something different; they inserted two stents of an experimental design into one of the President's coronary arteries.


In the above photo, a crack surgical team prepares the first of two surgical stents to be placed in ex-President Clinton's artery.

Nicknamed the "Bacon Double Cheeseburger Memorial Super Highway," these stents were manufactured for people with an LDL of 750 and over. In the event that Billy Jeff falls off the low chlorestoral wagon, doctors have also prepared a new arterial reaming machine to scour plaque from inside the new stents.


All funny aside - there are 2,976 people who died on September 11, 2001, because in 1996 Billy Jeff refused delivery of Osama Bin Laden from the Sudanese government. The good doctors at New York Presbyterian did exactly as they should, they used their skills to save President Clinton's life. Billy Jeff will face justice one of these days, the doctors only postponed it. And it will be justice far more terrible than whatever we can imagine trapped in our mortal coil.

9 comments:

Fuzzy Slippers said...

Two things: that burger looks delicious as hell, and I'm with you on the 1996 thing. After the '93 WTC bombing, I blame him, in no small part, for 9/11.

Toaster 802 said...

I prefer a willybuger well done, flame broiled with lovin' care by Beezelbub...

FORGER said...

From that second pic, I say Slick's surgical team were his kind of guys..

They know how to lay some serious pipe in less than optimal conditions...

FORGER said...

And speaking of a tasty burger, take the above mound of munchability and add a fried egg, and Voila'...

A Barney Clark Burger.

sig94 said...

Fuzzy - I do love that pile of meat n' cheese.

No, I am not talking about Billy Jeff.

sig94 said...

Toast - Willyburger with a side of Hillary fries. They belong together for all eternity.

sig94 said...

Forger - that is my favorite IHOP Burger!!!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gohlkus/3179587108/

I can actually feel my arteries shudder as the waitress approaches our table.

Fredd said...

The double bacon burger in the photo above appears to be the cardiac special they serve at Hardee's. Am I wrong?

sig94 said...

Fredd - I dunno. I thought it came from the Cheeseburger Society but I was wrong.

http://www.cheeseandburger.com/

Go here for some incedible cheeseburgers. I gotta try something a few these!