Wednesday, March 07, 2007

She's Gone

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. (AP) -- Astronaut Lisa Nowak was fired from NASA on Wednesday, a month after she was charged with trying to kidnap a woman she regarded as her romantic rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot. NASA officials said Nowak's dismissal did not reflect the space agency's belief in her guilt or innocence.

They just didn't want to get stuck with the dry cleaning bill.
In her honor, Mattel is coming out with a new BB gun that shoots poo pellets.
Nowak, who had an affair with a fellow astronaut, accosted her lover's new girlfriend at an Orlando airport. She wore a diaper so she could drive non-stop from Houston.

She allegedly pepper-sprayed the woman through a partially lowered car window. In Nowak's vehicle, police found a BB gun, new steel mallet, a knife and rubber tubing. [...] Nowak, 43, pleaded not guilty to attempted kidnapping and burglary with assault. She was released on bail wearing a monitoring device on her ankle.

She is also prohibited from buying Depends™ and must produce proof every twelve hours that she has had a bowel movement.

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