Saturday, January 08, 2011

Nom Nom Nom On The Taxpayers' Dime


What a kick in the taxpayers' teeth. Some enormous lard ass in England was sucking down public assistance at the rate of 20,000 calories a day - enough calories to feed almost a dozen people a day or the entire nation of Biafra for a month - plus his housing and utilities, is now suing the British National Health Service for letting him grow as big as a Buick.

Please be careful, this gigantic slug actually allowed a picture to be taken of him in the nude and posted in The Sun.

MAN mountain Paul Mason plans to SUE the NHS - claiming they ignored his plight as he rocketed towards 70 stone.

Paul - once the world's fattest man - vowed to use any compo to help other patients who need weight-loss ops.

The 50-year-old, of Ipswich, said he begged his local NHS trust for help at 30st.

But the medic he consulted in 1996 told him: "Ride your bike more."

When the former postman hit 64st he asked to see an eating disorders specialist, but was sent to a dietician.

He should have been sent to a landfill.
FYI - 70 st (stone) is about 980 lb. He didn't ask for help until he hit 420 lb. Then he got depressed and allegedly tried to kill himself three times. Channeling Dean Vernon Wormer:"Fat and incompetent is no way to go through life, son."
He took an overdose of powerful pain killers because of his huge body mass they failed to do any harm. He later slashed his wrists after having an earlier gastric band op cancelled.
Big mistake!
#1. Vicodin, morphine and oxycontin are still not available in 55 gallon drum doses.
#2. Don't send a Swiss Army knife to do the work of a chainsaw.
Five more years passed before he was given the chance to have the operation.

But in that time he was housebound and could not even go to the funeral of his mum Janet last year.
He ate her and the dining room set.

At his heaviest Paul was eating 20,000 calories a day - ten times what a normal, healthy man should consume - and the cost of caring for him is thought to have hit £1million in 15 years.
And of course it is the government's fault. In a society chock full of entitlements and victims, it is always someone else's fault because someone else is always paying for it.
Guess who that someone else is?

13 comments:

Christopher - Conservative Perspective said...

Where does one bury such a mass, a land fill maybe?

Nickie Goomba said...

You have to wonder if he has a family other than a collection of government bureaucrats.

sig94 said...

Chris - And would the taxpayers have to coff up the dough for a custom coffin? Do they charge extra for a payloader to act as a pallbearer?

sig94 said...

Nickie - that's just it; the government doesn't want you to depend on your family - just them.

Subvet said...

Sig94, I don't know about standard burials but in this country cremation of a lard ass that size would cost extra.

My MIL was close to 400 lbs. before gastric bypass surgery. Her blood pressure was off the charts even WITH meds. The wife and I started looking at what this would mean eventually (call us ghouls, the MIL is a real piece of work that DOES NOT inspire love & loyalty). Since then she's had the surgery and now looks almost human.

Anyway, there is a real fire hazard from morbidly obese folk getting cremated. Seems all that fat cooking off increases the chances of a grease fire. I kid you not.

So "Tubby" in this article may be costing the taxpayers extra even AFTER kicking the bucket!

The_Kid said...

He is kinda cute, is he single?
-Rosie ODonnell

sig94 said...

Subvet - I never heard of such a thing. Do they ban outdoors fires in your county?

With a hazardous condition like massive grease fires, do you use the airport fire squad with foam ejectors to quell an outta control blazing fatty?

sig94 said...

Kid - that's just wrong. Rosie prefers her men with a "gash" not a moustache.

Subvet said...

Sig94, check with your local crematorium. I'll bet they'll back me up on this one. It's become more of an issue in recent years due to the increased number of lardasses in our nation. As a matter of fact, here's an address where such a story is featured http://www.amanwalksintoanoffice.com/2006/10/600_lb_mans_body_fat_starts_gr.html.

As for what fire squad is used, we were told it would be the local department on hot standby (sorry, couldn't resist that one).

Subvet said...

That address didn't come out so well, here's another for the same story: http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=590782

sig94 said...

Subvet - OM Goodness. There is a high yuck factor to that story. Now whenever a grease fire starts in my grill... I may need therapy for this.

Subvet said...

Sig94, when I can gross out a retired cop I know I've accomplished something!

sig94 said...

I have pulled "crispy critters" out of residential fires. ewwwwww