Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Interplanetary Worming

Now it is official! We have polluted our planet so badly that it is affecting other bodies in our solar system! Even Mars is now facing dramatic climatic change!

Images provided by the new Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter offer clarity often better "than what you would see flying over the surface of the Earth from a commercial airliner," said Richard Zurek, a NASA scientist. Although the spacecraft did not start sending images back to earth until late Septemeber, these images show layers of ice and dust that indicate that changes to the Martian climate have occurred relatively recently.
"So what this is telling us is that at the north polar cap over the last 100,000, or so years, there has been a really dynamic history of change in climate that is recorded in the layers of ice, much like the way we would determine Earth's climate change by going back and looking at a core of ice in Greenland."

Since Man does not live on Mars, the only possible reason for this dramatic climate change is the environmental perturbations caused by Man on Earth. According to the Martian Ambassador, Al Gore, the biggest threat to any planetary system is the internal combustion engine. If we can change the climate on Mars with only two decades worth of SUV's on Earth, just think what we can do to Jupiter and Neptune in 100 years! We're gonna rock the star system!

We need to get up to speed on this...

As the gravitational pull of Mars is only 38 per cent of Earth's, a gallon of gas will go a lot further on the Red Planet. Go figure, a 7,213 pound military style H1 getting 12 miles per gallon on Earth will weigh only 2,741 pounds on Mars! Heck, a Toyota Prius loaded with fuzzy baby ducks weighs 2,857 pounds on Earth and gets over 50 mpg.

With that kind of weight differential we can have huge, high sulphur content bituminous coal-burning RV's bounding over virgin Martian soil killing baby Martian snail darters (whatever) on their way to a non-returnable, no deposit glass bottle dump site. As there is no rain on Mars, even an acid rain reeking of coal burning byproducts is better than nothing.

To take advantage of the news, Ford and General Motors announced a new line of concept MUV's (Martian Utility Vehicles) while AM General is introducing the Mummer M1 at the New York Auto Show this fall.

Auto manufacturers can really jack up the size of vehicles exported to Mars. Just think of driving while seated in one area code and the kids in the back seat sleeping in another.

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